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For the pass few days, I just couldn't handle the pressure of taking the oppurtunity to be with her knowing that I know she'll have all the time to be with together. But I was wrong, I was trying to pretend that we're on together when in fact we are not. I just couldn't resist the fact of the past. They say the past is gone forever but sometimes, I just forget that we've already broken up. Though I would say the break up was suprising, it only shows how much I long for her. But now, I'm quite confused.

Sharheyll and I had promised that we would still end up with each other no matter what. He assured that she wouldn't marry yet and that she won't marry other guy except me. The fact that she promised still bothers my mind. She has her boyfriend now. Just right after me. How ironic it is. But, she said she can dare to sacrifice. Right now, though I'm trying to revive the sweetness of her just like the old days, it really breaks me hard when she couldn't patiently listen and talk to me. She even slapped me in the face. But no matter how or what, I still love her.

What I've learned is to take into action the quote, "If I love her, set her free." Painful it may though, I must face the whole situation bravely. As I was spending so much time with her, all she does is to dispose me. I should have listen to my friend with what she said, "the more you want to win her heart right now, the more she'll go further away." I can see the big picture right now and I don't want it to happen. Starting today, I will try to keep distance and let her be what she wants. I have to trust her and prove to her that I'm a better person. I know my time will come. And when that day come, I know she'll welcome me with arms with open.